Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

~ Virginia Satir

What each of us learned about relationships in our family of origin growing up impacts the partnership that you are now trying to create as a couple. This is because we all learned different rules and roles and communications patterns growing up!

Understanding more about your earlier family system helps you to understand where you find yourself now, working with each other in a marital partnership. This applies to relationships we have with others as well, as we understand more about who we are and the life choices we are making.

For couples, this may mean helping you move from “I” to “We” in a partnered relationship.

No longer solely “I”, the couple needs to learn to become “we” which is no small feat. Yes, that means each of you has a part to play in growing your relationship!

It is in partnership that couples find meaningful connection and satisfaction. Yet oftentimes we were not taught how to do this in ways that create balance and harmony.

In all my years of psychotherapy practice, I have never met a couple who did not intend to stay married on the day of their wedding. Yet oftentimes couples seek my services when one or both parties are having an affair or are on the brink of divorce. Affairs are symptoms that a marriage is in distress, the are not the end of marriages.

Similarly, even when a couple is on the brink of divorce, it is not too late. Learning to use new skills and tools to help you understand where your relationship went off track can support your decision to get your marriage back on track, sometimes even better than it was before!

I often hear “I love him/her but I am no longer in love.” This is not at all uncommon and I encourage you to seek the help that you and your relationship need to thrive and survive.

Marriage is an investment two people make that often involves children. I believe we owe it to our children and ourselves to do all that we can to get our marriages back on track. I am here to help each of you find out more about what that means for you.

Research shows that happy married couples benefit from both enhanced physical and emotional health. A couple who can find their way to maintaining their partnership — who can rekindle the attraction that once brought them together — is both a physically and emotionally healthier, happier couple!

Sometimes there was trauma and loss in our earlier lives including parental neglect, abandonment, emotional or physical abuse, or any number of events that we may have never fully resolved. As children, we learn to either survive or thrive, or somewhere in between, depending on our specific family home situation.

Many times hardships that we survived in our childhoods are not even in our conscious awareness. They lie dormant until new traumas, losses, or hardships in the present moment touch on earlier, unresolved memories and experiences.

We may feel fear or anxiety as our consciousness begins to shift toward the past, while we are still in the present. This can feel confusing and unsettling at first. Be assured that you are not alone, as this is our psyche’s way of leading us forward toward healing and wholeness.

This is a normal part of life, as you wake up to a higher level of consciousness and awareness that helps guide you forward, exploring prior life issues that are needing to be resolved.

With over twenty years of experience, my work with individuals, couples, and families is enhanced by my background in family systems as well as training and experience in Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP). These modalities, along with additional training in the work of the Gottman and Imago methods will provide the foundation for our work.

Additionally, for those whose lives encompass a spiritual dimension, my background in Pastoral Ministry will further guide, enrich and support our work together.

To see more is to become more.

~ Pierre Tielhard De Chardin

In a safe setting, I offer you compassionate, non-judgmental understanding so that you may better decipher your own feelings and what underlies them. I will help you to understand your feelings of depression or anger; fear, anxiety, or loss so that you may manage and channel your feelings in ways that are more productive and rewarding for you and those you love.

I will help you decipher threads in your life that are guiding you to move toward or away from specific behaviors. When you understand this, you’ll feel free and naturally inclined to become more of who you feel called to become.

I will help you understand the conflicts and ambivalence within yourself so you can decide what’s most important and meaningful to you. Together we will explore how your past is impacting your present. When you can put the past into perspective you may become more emboldened to make the decisions necessary to feel more successful in your life and your relationships.

One way to think of our past is to embrace the idea that each of us is raised into a life story narrative. The story you were raised with shaped and molded who you became which may not reflect the spirit of who you are innately trying to become now. In our work together, we will explore your life story narrative so you can alter your narrative to become more congruent with who you are called to be.

If you’re struggling with feelings related to trauma, grief, loss, death or illness of a loved one, you may feel frightened, lost, and alone. You’re not alone. I am here for you.

I am here to help you understand the meaning of what you are losing or have already lost. I can help you learn from the situation so you feel not only healed, but more energized and courageous to move forward. That’s exactly what psychotherapy is meant to do – to help you move forward with your life and become more spiritually awakened.

Although our culture often tells us to “get over it,” or to “move on,” it is clear that we are often unable to move on until we understand the meaning of what it is that we are moving on from!

Through psychotherapy with me, you will be better positioned to understand aspects of your behavior and your choices that sometimes seem unclear to you. Greater clarity may lead you to feel more spiritually awakened and more emboldened to be the you you’ve been feeling called to become.

If you’d like to explore working with me, feel free to call me at (908) 813-8232 to discuss your needs further.